Now I never notice shoes. I have no emotional connection to shoes. It could be the fact that I am a guy or maybe it’s my phobia of feet. The other day I looked down at the person wearing sandals standing behind me at the movie theater and I saw toes that looked like little bugs just waiting to break off at any moment and run up my pants leg causing terrible havoc. I just don’t notice shoes. It’s a matter of perspective. Shoes are important for some people. Some have an emotional attachment to shoes. They love their shoes. They love to compare their shoe wardrobe with their friends. For others they could careless. As long as they keep my feet warm I am happy.

It is all a matter of perspective but perspective keeps us from the benefits of enjoying certain aspects of life. I will never experience the joy of having a pedicure. Not because I don’t like anyone touching my feet but because I cannot stand the thought of sitting beside someone while they have their feet in the air being scratched on and skin peeled back and foot rubbed. I am starting to feel nauseated as I write this.

Perspective is personal. It is the glass through which we see the world. It’s what shapes our opinions, molds our values, and motivates our actions. Perspective is how we apply our past to our present. It gives us direction as we navigate through life.

The way we view others is determined by who we are. If you really don’t like people, that really is a statement about you and the way you look at people. Who we are determines how we view others. It is our viewpoint that is the problem. If our perspective is distorted then our whole life will be out of balance. If the way we see the world is dark and gloomy than our life will be limited. Don’t try to change others. Focus on changing yourself and becoming the kind of person you desire to be, then you will start viewing others in a whole new light. Of course, I am praying that going barefoot does not become the latest fashion trend.

What outlook has shaped the way you see the world? What do you need to change about how you see the world?

The real tests of life come when we are alone. When we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere and don’t really know how we ended up here. This is when we find out who we are. This is when we find out what we really miss and what we really are afraid of. For a while you daydream about your favorite food. Or you wish you were in the comfort of your bed. The longer we remain in the wilderness however the more we get to know ourselves. We discover the habits, substances or surroundings that we use to comfort ourselves, to block out pain and fear. Without these things we become exposed. It is hard. It is a struggle. And yet, it is necessary.

It seems to be a necessary part of our life journey to find ourselves alone with nothing but the comfort of God. Most of us are addicted to something: eating, shopping, criticizing or blaming other people, television, self-pity, or public recognition. Addiction is relying on anything besides the protection of God to shelter us from the storms. Sometimes it is alcohol that we use to shelter us from reality. Other times it is moving from one relationship to the next as a way of escape.

Jesus spent forty days in the wilderness fasting. He spent one day for each year that the people of Israel spent wandering in the wilderness. Because Jesus spent 40 days of fasting in the wilderness while being tempted by the devil, the Church has, for centuries, observed 40 day of Lent prior to the celebration of the death and resurrection of Jesus. That’s what many Christians have done for centuries. They’ve had their Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday – the day to get rid of all the fat calories and alcoholic beverages from one’s system. Then on Ash Wednesday, they have gone to Church to confess their sinfulness before God. They are marked with ashes and the words, “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return” are spoken over them. For the next 40 days, Christians will deny themselves the pleasures of desserts, breads, alcohol, tobacco, or one meal each day.

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the day we recognize that we are our own worst enemies. Today we find the faith and the courage to enter into the wilderness. It is not something we look forward to but something we find crucial to our well-being. The journey is dangerous. The journey is threatening. The journey can be frightening. In the wilderness we are alone. We are weak. We are being confronted by the question: Who are we? For the sake of our well-being we step into the wilderness with nothing but the comfort of God. Our prayer is that at the end of the forty days we get an answer to the question, “Who am I?” We enter it hopeful because we also realize that we are one day closer to resurrection.

“God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not be afraid, even if the earth is shaken and mountains fall into the ocean depths; even if the seas roar and rage, and the hills are shaken by the violence” Psalm 46: 1 -3.

How are you reflecting on the season of Lent? What are you giving up? What are your thoughts on addiction?

It took us two days to assemble the 747. It took one throw into midair to make it small enough to go back in the box. Jaden was worried that I would be upset over the crash because of the time we put into the construction. As he approached me, Jaden said, “Daddy, I have something to tell you but I don’t want to tell you.” “Why, don’t you want to tell me,” I asked. He said, “Because you will be disappointed.” I replied, “What is it?” He asked, “If I tell you will you still love me?”

What started as a plane crash on the bedroom floor turned into a situation of sharing unconditional love. For a lot of people self-identity is wrapped up in performance. If I disappoint someone does that change who I am? If I get congratulated for a job well done does that affect my identity? “Who am I?” Henri Nouwen asks. His response speaks to our true self. “I am the beloved.” Knowing that our identity is not guided by our performance gives us the freedom to succeed or fail without losing sight of our true self.

Paul Tillich takes it further when he says, “It is as though a voice were saying: ‘You are accepted, accepted by that which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later.’” This is God’s gift of grace to each of us. God’s loving relationship toward me is a preexisting relationship. When we accept the fact that we are accepted true healing can be found for those who suffer from defeat.

¹ But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

Someone recently asked me if I could would I want to know the future. Would I want to know how certain things turned out? It might not be a bad thing to know if the Atlanta Braves were ever going to make it to the playoffs again but would I want to know the intimate future details of my life? I am not so sure. I believe in the power of mystery. I believe it is the things that lie beyond our comprehension that challenges us and makes us creative individuals. Einstein once wrote that “the most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.” The unexplainable and indefinable future leaves us with a sense of awe. It leaves us convinced that we don’t have all the answers and maybe we will never be able to explain completely the outcome of events or circumstances. Living on the edge of the known and unknown forces us to realize that life is bigger than ourselves. It leaves us with a choice. We can put all the mysterious pieces of life back into the bag and coward to the unknown or we can, piece by piece, and with the grace of God start putting the pieces of our life together even if we are not so sure of the outcome.  We may not know the future but we can know who holds the future. It is this One that the Psalmist speaks of when he says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139).

I spent my adolescent years standing back and watching life happen to others. I became reactionary.

I was not the only one who took a seat in the corner. There are others who sit back and wait for life to happen to them. They are always in response mode. There may be times that we are to hang around and see what happens but I personally believe in saving those moments for doctor’s visits and tax returns.

Memories are made by those who make the first move. Opportunities are created for those in position to see them. Don’t be afraid to make the first move and keep making it.

If it is a dating relationship that you are considering making the first move and she ends up having the laugh of a hyena don’t worry you can always weasel your way out by telling her you need to check with your mom’s poker schedule because you always drive her home on poker night down at the Moose Lodge. Trust me it works.

A disclaimer since my mom reads these posts. She does not play poker at least not on Friday nights.

Where do you need to make the first move?

When it came time for Bear to go to dog heaven he didn’t want us to cry. One evening he just decided to walk off into the woods and lay down. When he didn’t come home the next evening we went searching for Bear. We found him laying beside an old oak. We picked him up and brought him home for a proper burial.

His death could have been a lot sooner. One afternoon my mom was backing out of the driveway and all we felt was a thump. Apparently, no one told Bear we were backing out. The tires compressed him with such intensity that you would have thought we would have been scrapping him off the gravel driveway. Instead we just picked rocks out of his fur and went grocery shopping while Bear went back to his afternoon nap.

Moral of the story – don’t getting run over stop you from getting on with your life. Bear was a good friend.

One of the lessons I have learned this year is that we need people in our lives who see us deeper than we see ourselves. We need someone who believes in us when we cannot believe in ourselves. It never hurts having that one person on the sidelines cheering us on when all we want to do is quit. When the world has us convinced that we are no good, it is great to have someone beside us who says it is all a lie. Where would we be in life without the people who give us the courage to jump when jumping is what is needed?

“In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Then God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light”

We all have experienced an event in our lives where we could use the words formless, empty, or void. This past year we had an occurrence that left us feeling empty. The death of someone we love. The loss of a job. The foreclosure of a home. The breakdown of a relationship. Sickness.

Our kids know what it’s like to feel empty. A bully that won’t stop, a rumor that was spread, a break-up that was difficult, a friend who is no longer a friend, a death, parents getting a divorce. We all have episodes in our lives that can be described with the words formless, void, or empty.

The story of creation is about how God takes what is formless, void, and empty and creates something beautiful. God wants to do that in your life this year. God wants to create light in your darkness and order in your chaos. If God can take all of the dark and chaotic mess that existed before creation and make something as beautiful as a sunshine then God can can do something extraordinary with our messed up lives.

In the Gospel of John, God’s light becomes personal and intimate. In speaking of Jesus, John says, “All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it” (John 1:2-5). Jesus is God’s light that shines in the darkness. Jesus gives redemptive purpose to our chaotic mess. In 2012 make it a resolution to follow Jesus and experience a life of where it can be said, “and there was light!”

One of the most difficult decisions we can make in life is letting go. Difficult because we are taught to never give up, hang in there, don’t lose the fight. Giving up is seen as the cowardly thing to do. Letting go implies defeat.

And yet, I have learned that if we are going to make it through the winter season then we must learn to let go. Sometimes we must let go of our present in order to fly toward our future. It takes a lot of courage to recognize that the season has changed. The season could be an unhealthy relationship, an uneventful career, or a harmful habit. It could be that letting go is the only way to prove that you are strong enough to accept the things you cannot change.

Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak. Sometimes giving up means that you are strong enough to let go. The geese who fly south or the bears who settle down for the winter are not giving up they are just making room for the future. Letting go does not always mean giving up. It means I could be moving on. And moving on is the only way into the future.

What lessons have you learned in 2011?